You’ve heard of running for your life. This is running for the bathroom, which is somehow more urgent and less dignified.
“Faster Than Diarrhea Going Down the Throat” is a loud, stupid, unreasonably aggressive graphic tee for anyone who believes speed should come with consequences. Featuring bold red, white, black, and gloriously unfortunate brown lettering, this design looks like a motorsports logo got possessed by gas station chili and made one final break for freedom. It is chaotic, crude, memorable, and absolutely not here to make your family proud. Humanity invented language and this is where we parked it.
Perfect for runners, gym goblins, beer league legends, truck stop philosophers, bathroom humor enthusiasts, and anyone with the maturity level to laugh at something this dumb while pretending they are above it. Wear it to parties, races, bars, tailgates, cookouts, podcast nights, or anywhere someone needs to read your shirt and quietly reconsider the entire social contract.
Product Features
- 100% ringspun cotton with a soft, lightweight feel
- Bold front graphic design
- Semi-fitted cut with side seams
- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape
- Double-needle hems for durability
- Tear-away label for comfort
- Runs true to size
- Great for gag gifts, parties, races, gym wear, bar nights, cookouts, bathroom humor fans, and people who make questionable shirt decisions with confidence
Care Instructions
- Machine wash cold
- Tumble dry medium
- Use non-chlorine bleach as needed
- Do not iron directly over the design
- Do not dry clean
- Avoid chili dogs, questionable buffets, and sprinting after dairy-based choices
*Note: Color, placement, and sizing may vary slightly due to production and fabric stretch. Tiny differences are normal, because machines can print the shirt, but they cannot save you from the consequences of gas station nachos.*
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